Prevailing thought

Often, to recap the day, my husband or I will ask the other “what was your prevailing thought today?”

And today mine was this: life is hard but you just have to keep going.

I needed to be at work early this morning and I would have made it except that I fell down the cement stairs outside my house. I gouged and scraped my beautiful boots, I banged my knee pretty fiercely, and I scared my daughter, who already worries about me too much.

As I drove I felt blood seeping through my pants.

When I went to drop my daughter off at my friends’ house to catch the bus, their morning was going even worse than mine. They’re having one of those weeks where you already feel like you’re drowning but waves keep crashing over your head, pushing you even deeper down. As I walked in I realized they’d just been hit with another doozy of a wave. So I stepped in and tried to help out while grabbing ice to strap to my knee until I could actually deal with it. We couldn’t really deal with my friends’ problem either but we did what we could for now and moved on.

I headed on to work, 30 minutes behind schedule and jumped right into my tasks for the day. Websites had glitches, attempts to fix them made them worse, the database I had to use was incredibly slow, and my lunch got screwed up.

I had a documentary about the sickboy podcast playing in the background while I worked and it was heavy. The main theme was death and grief and as I watched these men, who I listen to every day on my earbuds, lying on the ground and crying over the loss of loved ones my eyes filled with tears.

My morning fall had wrenched my body and so my myasthenia came out in full force. I painfully limped throughout my day and was quite the spectacle.

After school was chaotic. I’ve been watching 5 children every evening this week which is quite a change from my one and only. Today was filled with discipline issues, tears, and noise.

So life is hard.

But … my almost brand new, definitely too expensive leggings came out of my fall unscathed, the first aid kit at work had the perfect bandages to dress my knee, because I was planning to arrive early I actually had time to help my friends this morning which felt good, using a slow database meant I could watch that documentary, my screwed up lunch led to a free upgrade, my coworkers were extra supportive with physical tasks because they saw me struggling, and I ended the night with a pile of children snuggling me on the couch while we watched a Christmas movie.

So life is hard but you just have to keep going. It’s worth it in the end.

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