My 14 year old heart

I remember being 14 vividly. My walls were plastered with posters, magazine pages, photos of my friends, random keys I had found, sheet music, stickers and drawings. It was attached with sticky tack, masking tape or gluesticked right onto the paint. I spent hours on the phone with my bestie, my boyfriend, and my camp friends who lived far away. I had a combination cassette/cd player and it was on constantly, playing tapes, discs, the radio, or making a multitude of mix tapes (most of which I still have).  
If I sit and think about those times I can bring back the memories, but only vaguely. My daughter talks about her long past memories as being in a fridge in the back of her brain and that’s exactly what it’s like to try and conjure up the past. The details and images are there but they’re a bit freezer burnt. Sluggish and dulled by the cold weight of time. 

Waiting for the show to start. Anticipation!


But every once in a while something sparks and a flame alights those memories and brings them burning right to the front of my mind. My heart is 14 years old again and I feel like I’m surrounded by those posters, listening to my cassette tapes and chatting with my friends. 

The boys (now men) of Hanson. Isaac, Zac, Taylor.


Tuesday night was one of those times. I went to a Hanson concert in Montreal with an old friend and we danced and sang along just like we were teenagers. My body cooperated wonderfully and I was able to do the stairs in our super cheap, super trashy walk up hotel as well as to the balcony seats in the concert venue. 

The trellis and rubber grapes hanging in the stairwell of our hotel. So classy.


I danced, clapped, and walked several kilometres to and from the show. I was only a little sore the next day which seems exactly right.  

Our bedspread declared “no probllama” and surprisingly that turned out to be true.


How freeing it is to be able to turn back time and feel 14 again

One thought on “My 14 year old heart

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