Vulnerability and community 

Doughnuts, like stories, are for sharing. Sometimes.

No one in my real life knows that I’ve written stories for The Mighty. 

No one in my real life knows about this blog (except my husband – I’ve shown him exactly two posts that I’ve written). Two other friends know that I’ve started a blog but they don’t know the name or how to find it. 

I was having a great talk with one of these friends one day and he asked if I’ve ever thought of writing. I confessed that I have been blogging but no one knows and almost no one reads it. “So you’re journaling then?” Was his response. And then he asked why I haven’t shared it. 

I didn’t have a good answer but I’ve been thinking about it for the 6 weeks since then and I think I finally know. 

I’m comfortable talking about my illness in person with people that I actually know and I’m comfortable talking about it online with other people who experience illness/disability. In both settings I’m sharing witrhin a community. What I’m not comfortable doing is sharing publicly and I’m afraid if the two worlds start to mix then all my writing will be public. I don’t want my entire Facebook list, or anyone I work with, or my kid’s teachers, able to access my illness thoughts. 

Not yet anyway. 

 Eventually I’m sure they’ll blur, and I’m sure it’ll be fine. 

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