No one in my real life knows about this blog (except my husband – I’ve shown him exactly two posts that I’ve written). Two other friends know that I’ve started a blog but they don’t know the name or how to find it.
I was having a great talk with one of these friends one day and he asked if I’ve ever thought of writing. I confessed that I have been blogging but no one knows and almost no one reads it. “So you’re journaling then?” Was his response. And then he asked why I haven’t shared it.
I didn’t have a good answer but I’ve been thinking about it for the 6 weeks since then and I think I finally know.
I’m comfortable talking about my illness in person with people that I actually know and I’m comfortable talking about it online with other people who experience illness/disability. In both settings I’m sharing witrhin a community. What I’m not comfortable doing is sharing publicly and I’m afraid if the two worlds start to mix then all my writing will be public. I don’t want my entire Facebook list, or anyone I work with, or my kid’s teachers, able to access my illness thoughts.
Not yet anyway.
Eventually I’m sure they’ll blur, and I’m sure it’ll be fine.