Since my diagnosis of MG a year ago I’ve had to slowly shift priorities. In some areas this has been easier than others. One of the first things I had to realize is that resting is now more important than productivity. I’ve always been someone who loves to get stuff done. That’s why I like to knit in all my downtime. I hate sleeping. I hate napping. I love being efficient and productive and busy. But now I’ll have a couple hours and I’ll think “I could work on that sweater I’m trying to finish(yes!) … or I could lay down and rest my muscles (boo!)” And often I make the wise choice to rest.
The other day I was heading to an event at my workplace. It’s kind of a dressy, formal(ish) lunch event that happens once a year. I got dressed – nice dress, tights, jewellery, and as I put on my heels and I looked in the mirror and thought “y’know if I wear heels all day, and especially if I have to do any amount of walking, I am going to be so worn out.” And so I wore sneakers. The priority was making it through the day. I see women in their cute outfits and their heels and I wish I could look like that but it’s just not worth it. Walking is my priority.
The other night I had to make one of the lowest level choices so far. I had friends over and I ended up hosting them with a filthy bathroom and without wearing a bra. Those are two things that a year ago I would not have condoned while company was present but both cleaning my bathroom, and wearing a bra are things that impact my breathing. I had been at that work event during the day which meant sitting in a straight backed chair for several hours (which is shockingly hard work for me!) and so in the evening I just decided that protecting my muscles was more important than being presentable.
As time goes on hopefully I can find better ways to manage my time and energy but for now I do what I have to do, and I try to keep my priorities straight.