Dis/Comfort


People often talk about stepping out of your comfort zone but I feel like over the past year that hasn’t even been an option for me because slowly, but consistently,my comfort zones have eroded and disintegrated beneath my feet. I’ve been left floundering, scrambling about, looking for a foothold to gain some traction. 
I guess you could say I have many “discomfort zones.”  

My body is uncomfortable 100% of the time. I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis (MG), a neuromuscular disorder, about a year ago and things just haven’t been the same since. Because of that I’m on several medications which have side effects that make me feel increasing levels of weird. One side effects is weight gain which means that my clothes no longer fit so there’s an added layer of physical discomfort. 

Socially too I feel like a lot of my relationships have shifted. I’ve lost my career….its been on hold at least, or possibly has permanently has been altered, or… who knows. Regardless, I’ve lost a lot of those daily interactions that I depended on. 

I lost some of my sense of self identity – knowing who I am, defining myself by what I’m good at and what I contribute. 

And some friendships have shifted – not just because of my illness but varying life factors. 

And my marriage is not as comfortable as it was just because this has been hard on both of us and we’re figuring it out together and there have been lots of changes to our life so it’s just more work than it used to be. And that’s okay. It’s for a time. But it’s just not quite the same as what I was used to. 
So I don’t feel the need to step out of my comfort zone. It wild be accurate to say that instead I’m trying to find new comfort zones to settle into. To give myself some sort of normalcy and pleasure in life. And so I’m finding comfort in small areas (and large.) Things like; yoga pants and new tops, Diet Coke and fruit infused water, chocolate (sparingly), snuggles with my daughter (excessively), new relationships and old. Finding those people who are as comfortable to be with wearing as pair of old sweatpants but spending time with them makes you feel as great as when you finally find that elusive perfect pair of jeans. 
And so I’m diving into these new areas of comfort to remind myself that there is lots of good to be had in life even when things get a little rough. 

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